This year has been one of exploring, and facing down fears, and claiming my truths.

As I was looking back over the year, I was going to mention the couple of months that were really hard, and then realized those months were Febuary-October. Sooo…… most of the year was really hard and stressful. These last couple of months have been such a relief, I’ve almost forgotten how hard it all was.

Job hard. Moving hard. Church hard. Friends hard.

I would not have imagined choosing a word could be so painful and so freeing. Wanting to be authentic – being bold in claiming who I am – was a driving force in picking the word Bold. And it led to a lot of the stress of the year, but it also was an incredible instigator for personal growth.

Apparently some people aren’t very receptive when you begin to be honest about what you feel and believe. And apparently, some friends aren’t shy about telling you how you aren’t a real Christian.   So that’s always fun.

I’ve had to learn (again) boundaries and what safe relationships are like. That not everyone gets to know what’s going on with me. That there are levels of friendship and layers of knowing.

I’ve come out of the mess of this year with a lot more confidence, a lot less apologetic for being who I am. You have to know who you are to take a risk in standing up for it.

Being bold ultimately made me less passive with my life.

I became more proactive in wanting to see and do things:

 

 

We took a quick trip out west, and I walked around L.A. alone and flew alone.  Which probably sounds lame, but I’m from small towns. I don’t do stuff like that. (I’ve also found it harder with things like that because I look like I’m 16. If I looked 32 it might not be as big of a deal.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I explored a lot more of Chicago (Little India, Chinatown, Andersonville, Boystown) and even learned to drive in and out of the city without GPS.

 

I fully embraced our move to Virginia and leaving Michigan.

 

 

 

 

 

I was bold in trying out a new way of faith and fell in love.

I even made 2 things for the first time. I created a class on Midrash for the Made art and faith e-course, and an advent e-book.

I’ve learned to keep looking for those like-minded people, because they’re out there. We really weren’t made to go it alone. Between traveling and conferences, I met and reconnected with so many people and it was a source of life in all of the stress.

 

 

 

 

Even with all the pain and agony and hurts, I would much rather live honestly than giving into the fear. Being bold didn’t mean the fear I had went away. I just got used to it and did everything anyway.

I’ve learned how important encouragement is. When you’re discouraged and feeling abandoned, having people come alongside you is so important. Even a quick FB message or Vox can be a ring of hope when you’re drowning.

Sometimes life is just really hard, no matter what we do. And sometimes it all really goes to hell when we decide to start telling the truth.

But sometimes, sometimes, he really does restore what the locust has eaten.

I can’t believe how content, how happy, how at peace I am.   I’m in a church that fits, in a neighborhood I love, in a state I adore. Sometimes he restores.

 

On the blog this year – by far the most popular posts were the series on the True Womanhood 101 study.

Books I read this year that have stuck with me:
Wisdom of Stability
The Prophetic Imagination
Community
Prototype
Inspiration and Incarnation
Jesus Feminist
East of Eden
An Altar in the World
When We Were On Fire
Daring Greatly
Soil and Sacrament

Music I’ve found and loved:
Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors
David Ramirez
Matt Moberg
Imagine Dragons
Of Monsters and Men
Chris Pureka
Glen Hansard
Patty Griffin