The Realities of Voting

Photo Credit: League of Women Voters of California

It was Election Day and I was crying.

There was a box full of ballots, and I took the one with my name on it.  I sat down at a round table with my friends, and we all physically wrote the name of our candidate on the piece of paper.  In this dream, oddly enough, the name I wrote is not the one I plan on voting for.  But as I looked at the faces around the table, I began to cry.

Half of my friends are going to be disappointed with whoever I choose.

I woke up, my eyes damp and a heavy sadness weighing on me in the dark.  The essence of the dream was true.  Half the country is going to be disappointed.  And shouldn’t that be the awareness we take with us to the voting booth?

Shouldn’t voting, in some way, inspire a heavy sense of responsibility and concern for our neighbor?  Not a victorious, tribal happiness that our vote is going to make us win.  Inside that curtained booth, we need to remember that half this country disagrees with us in legitimate ways.

Not all those who vote for Romney think rape is redeemable.  Not all those who vote for Obama agree with abortion.  Some people who vote for Romney think his economic policies are a better way to help people.  Some people who vote for Obama think government programs are not ‘welfare’ but a means of provision for the least of these.  Some in our country feel that strengthening the middle class really can help lift everyone out of poverty.  And some really would sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of the poor.

As someone who only agrees with the candidates on 45% and 55% of the issues, I find myself firmly in the middle of this one.  As such, it’s been fascinating and disheartening to watch comments and articles bandied about by people on both sides of the aisle.

I used to think that only Republicans mixed faith and politics, but that is definitely not true.

Can we just all stop with the histrionics?  Obama is not going to make America collapse.  Romney is not going to make women feel like it’s 1912.

You know why?  The president is only one person.  Important, yes, but also why we have Congress and the courts.  Remember that whole checks and balances thing?

And also because yes, although their policies affect our lives, they aren’t in our lives.  We are in our lives.  We are the ones who have neighbors to love, friends to support, family to get along with.  We are the ones, day in and day out, can show love and compassion, acceptance and grace.

I don’t need a presidential stance on women to inform how I think about rape or how I treat a single mom, or teenage pregnancy.  I don’t need a governmental program to enable me to support my local food pantry or bring meals to someone who needs it.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you not to be a poor winner or a sore loser?  We could all stand to remember that.  The presidential election is not a sports game.  The results don’t mean that one side won, and they get the trophy while everyone else goes home empty-handed.

At the end of the World Series, when the Tigers come back to Michigan victorious, they won’t have to mingle with the Giants or White Sox on a daily basis.

But we do.  We have to mingle every day with our neighbors, our friends, the people we sit next to at church, all those people who have voted differently than us.  All of those people who may be legitimately hurt or offended every time we brush our opponents with broad strokes and unfeeling judgments.

It’s easy to get passionate about one day, one decision we get to make.  It’s easy to inflate the importance of inserting that paper into the machine.  The media thrives on that inflation.  We convince ourselves that our one vote matters, and if we win, then by God, we are right and superior and know better than all of you losers, who are so obviously out of God’s will in how you voted.

It is so easy to be passionate about one choice.  It is much harder to be passionate and enthusiastic about all the littler choices we need to make every day.  It is hard to be passionate about loving the unlovable, forgiving the unforgivable, and validating opposing opinions.  It’s easy to think that one choice defines us.  That a label like liberal or conservative defines the quality of our character, the depth of our spirituality.  But our lives are made up of all the little choices, small decisions that few people see and the media doesn’t cover.

Being politically engaged is not a sporting event.  So whatever happens, on November 6th, let’s not respond with victorious chants, but instead remember our friends who are sadly disappointed.  With a country this divided, it could easily have been the other way around.

I dreamed I went to the voting booth and cried.

May it be so.

 

If you are interested in helping to bridge that divide and remember that we are all one in Christ, check out Election Day Communion.  

6 Comments

  1. Deanna Martinez October 25, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    I was just talking about this with my husband today…people are so passionate about their presidential candidate, and while I do believe that leadership is very important, Congress holds a lot of responsibility for what does and does not get done. I wonder how many people know their congressperson’s record on most issues this past term. Mostly when I see the conversation happening around politics I want to disengage completely, because, as you so aptly pointed out, the sides are so polarized and it seems that we have forgotten there are actual humans on the other side. Thanks for the reminder.

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  3. Kim Sullivan October 26, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Caris, this is one of the most articulate and powerful things I’ve read in a while. Yes, I agree. I try to make this clear to my students. The questions/problems are complex. There are many good and not good ways to approach them politically and economically and we DON’T know if any of them will work. I am torn about many issues – and even how to do what it is that needs to be done in any of those situations we are trying to address. I hate this season. I hate how it renders us “fans” and not “players”…who really do respect one another more than fans respect each other… ( Maybe because fans don’t do – they identify and receive entertainment and “borrow” a sense of success.) Thankfully, our system is stable and sound because we do not change everything when a new man or woman is elected…and usually those most alike in what they say they will/or at least want to do are the last standing of all the candidates who set off to gain the office. We have been sold a media game that divides us in our strengths as a people. It is sad, very sad.

    Thank you for your wise words.

  4. Caris Adel October 26, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Thanks, Kim. Just this morning I woke up and on my fb feed, someone said 11 days until the election, we are here for such a time as this. And then!!!! Someone posted the Edmund Burke quote about evil thriving when good men do nothing, i.e, when good men don’t vote for Romney. ACK!!!! I haven’t decided if I should say something or not, in a kind of joking way….I try not to comment to other strangers on facebook.

  5. Caris Adel October 26, 2012 at 9:47 am

    There are so many times I just want to plug my ears and sing la-la-la with all of this!

  6. perfectnumber628 October 30, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Wow- this is really good, I’m going to link to it from my blog. No matter who we vote for, a lot of people we care about are going to be unhappy with it. This election, I’m not voting the same as my parents, and we’ve had some “discussions” about politics… I wonder if they think I’m horribly deceived.

    It seems like each side is attacking the other side so fiercely- like anyone who votes for the other candidate must be stupid/evil. This isn’t okay.

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